


tongue far from heart

by thisbeautifuldelirium



Series: phichit/yuuri fwb [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Unrequited Love, nsfw-ish, phichit is in pain and so am i
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 04:39:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9219386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisbeautifuldelirium/pseuds/thisbeautifuldelirium
Summary: It’s been months now. Months of having Yuuri’s lips against his, months of their bodies being pushed together, months of the best fucking sex Phichit has ever had. It’s blissful.or: phichit and yuuri are friends with benefits, and phichit is falling in love with him





	

**Author's Note:**

> ok so again i'm dumping this out here w no context, but it's kinda based on a Bigger Story that @raptordude is writing so?? i apologize for any confusion there just rly needed to be more pre-series phiyuuri content so i hope u enjoy regardless!!!

It’s not the first time that it’s happened, but usually he’s alone. It washes over Phichit like a tidal wave when Yuuri places a tiny kiss on his nose, and his heart absolutely does  _ not _ leap out of his chest. His hands certainly  _ don’t _ start to shake, and the smile he offers Yuuri is definitely real. It’s the smile he’s perfected over the years. It’s the smile he uses as a mask to hide his real, often painful feelings. It’s the smile he gives when people still, after five years, say  _ I’m sorry for your loss _ in regard to his sister. People assume that he’s endlessly cheerful and energetic, so he created that smile to reflect their expectations. He knows that if they looked close enough, maybe they’d realize that it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

He never lets anyone get close enough to find out.

Yuuri is close now, though. He’s close enough that Phichit can taste his breath on his lips and can see his eyes, even when his own are closed. His expressions are seared onto the back of Phichit’s eyelids, and he inconveniently finds himself thinking about the way Yuuri’s smile makes his eyes shine like fairy lights. He’s running his hands softly up and down Phichit’s sides, dipping forward so that their noses are pushed together. And then they’re kissing again, Yuuri’s tongue pushing unabashedly against his lips. His breath is coming out in little gasps, their bodies pressed together unforgivingly, and suddenly Phichit can’t take it anymore. He shoves Yuuri away and scrambles backwards, practically sprinting to the bathroom. He hears Yuuri calling his name, but he slams the door and locks it behind him. The room his swimming, so he squeezes his eyes shut. That was a mistake, a fucking  _ terrible _ mistake, because all he can see is Yuuri’s smile, his heart being laid bare before Phichit’s eyes. It hurts, but the pain behind his eyes takes away from the suffocating pain of his heart pounding in his throat, and he’s almost grateful. He can hear Yuuri calling his name from the other side of the door, and he struggles to take deep breaths, to stay quiet. He shoves his fist into his mouth and bites down, almost drawing blood, before falling against the wall and then onto the floor. He still can barely breathe, but his heartbeat is finally starting to slow down. 

It’s been months now. Months of having Yuuri’s lips against his, months of their bodies being pushed together, months of the best fucking sex Phichit has ever had. It’s blissful. 

But it’s been weeks. Weeks of Phichit’s heart fluttering any time Yuuri smiles at him, weeks since he first felt that swooping sensation in his chest when he was stroking Yuuri’s hair, weeks of his stomach flipping over and over and over whenever Yuuri kisses him. And it’s torture. 

He hears Yuuri tapping on the door, repeating Phichit’s name like a quiet anthem with  _ are you okay _ and  _ seriously I’m starting to get worried  _ mixed in. Phichit opens his eyes, only to find that everything is blurry. Tears are falling down his cheeks, but he wipes them away with one movement of his hand. He smiles bitterly. He’s never felt like this about anyone, so of course,  _ of course _ the first time would be for his best friend. Not only his best friend, but his best friend to whom he swore that he wouldn’t get feelings for when their arrangement started. Although it’s never been an arrangement, has it? Phichit stands up. They’re just friends who fuck sometimes. That’s all. He looks at himself in the mirror to make sure his eyes aren’t red, takes another deep breath, and opens the door with  _ that  _ smile on his face. 

“I’m fine.”


End file.
